No LF, I was not responding to you, I was resonding to the comments being posted. And BH it is not my child I spoke of. But how sad for those like you, DY and CY to wish so hard that it was rare that you would actually say so, even tho so many people can tell you it isn’t. And this was NOT one of the abusive rebbes. This was NOT the rebbe who is sharp and condescending, turning boys cheeks red with comebacks. This was the loving and caring Rebbe who was almost always there for his talmid.
The Rebbes catch yourself spoke of are the gems, the ones we all know about and fight to have. In a school of 20 teachers, even if they are half, that still leaves hundreds of students who don’t have them.
No, I don’t think that these rebbeim are the explanation for the OTD problem, I never made that claim, but to say these rebbes are RARE or not the norm is a joke. Would you really be so bold as to sweep this problem under the rug, and with it all those who have suffered? Is it possible (tho I don’t suspect so but how would I now) that you are a father who poo-poos your kids claims of being hurt by saying he just doesn’t understand discipline? I have seen parents respond that way to kids who are crumbling.
Perhaps you are defining abuse so specifically that it cannot include the commonplace embarrassment, subtle put downs, dismissals that seem like nothing but dig into the child. And you are only thinking of horrible things that really and honestly would not be happening.
Don’t be so quick to make all these hurting children invisible, it just adds to their pain. And since this can’t be a discussion when the people arguing it are telling me I made it up, it isn’t really happening (hmm, sounds familiar), I will keep myself out of it.