It seems that you’re being hypersensitive and at the same time (possibly for that reason) being very dismissive of your maybe-kallah’s feelings. (It’s so hard to find a good term for this kind of relationship…) If I were her, I wouldn’t appreciate having my concerns being made so light in your eyes. You can sympathize and say that even so he is an important person to you, but completely dismissing them is a bit cold.
If she said “him or me” and you picked him then that would be interesting in itself, but the fact that she’s NOT making an ultimatum and you STILL want to pick the rav is even more so.