Shalom RebbeDovid,
there is nothing wrong with you.
It may be that she does not feel so comfortable being close or being known or scrutinized by this Rav. There may be reasons that are in truth baseless. It also happens that a certain person (including a Rav) may seem to act in a way that seems to convey that he doesn’t like or accept us, when in truth his behavior (or what we perceive as his behavior) has nothing to do with us. But we might suspect, that since a person doesn’t look friendly he doesn’t like us. But there can be other explanations, for example the person having a bad day, thinking about something that upsets him personally without him even taking notice of us! 🙂
So, there can be wrong interpretations and misunderstandings.
It may be that there is a reason why she is not 100% comfortable with him for reasons that we don’t know.
The bottom line is, there is a big potential here for baseless hatred. We can’t know what is really happening, but it may well be baseless, or based on a misunderstanding, or even a misjudgement on her part.
Maybe there is some distrust on her part, but again, there is definitely potential for big misunderstandings here.
I would say the following: When she said that it is ok with her that you continue to stay in contact with him and also consult with him, that seems reasonable and flexible and like a willingness to find a solution on her part. THIS IS HOW WOMAN SPEAK 🙂
I think she was saying that she does agree with you having him as a Rav, only that she wants matters that also deal with her not be brought to him.
I think the following: Opinions can change! Also her confidence can increase.
Misunderstandings will eventually be resolved.
You should check if she is a decent person (and I mean, with all due respect, beyond an outward appearance). Also chemistry does not have to mean everything. You should definitely check her as a person and what her motivations as a person are.
If you are convinced of her integrity, I think you should not worry.
Also ask your mother what she thinks.
Marry a woman with a good heart (and I mean a woman with a good heart)