smartcookie, you’ve got a point. however I’m talking about the later stages where they are up to the 9th or tenth date they have the advantage of discussing the future together and working things through that would be detrimental later on if not discussed prior… i’m not saying that the dater covers eth before marriage, My husband and I left out a few detailed discussions before we commitment, that is normal, but the amount that the chassidim just accept and live with, without asking questions…can chas v’shalom build up resentment later on down the track.. You can say they are born into and it’s just like accepting a new brother or sister, however on this angle there is more than afew cons to this way.. They do say however that the percentage of divorces in the chassidishe oilom is far beyond less than the litvishe one. there is also no “shidduch crisis” in the chassidishe world..:) maybe there is a strong method to thier madness. maybe they are right and we are wrong..LOL;)but they do say however the amount of HAPPY litvishe marriages outweighs the chassidim by far! communication is one of the main key factors to a successful marriage. the chassidim don’t get much of that prior to marriage, so it’s no wonder… On a date you make decisions together. the chassidishe way is all in theory, however it’s gotta be l’masse in order to know for sure if it will work. On a litvishe date you decide together where you will be spending the time, etc.. you choose conversations. and you see l’maase how well you are able to communicate! i’m not bashing either way I’m just stating fact.
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