I personally dated my husband for 10 months. Best decision of my life. Yes some aspects may have been difficult but it turned out amazing. The reason for this was that I had some awful experiences when shidduch dating, people held things back, a lot o Loshon hurrah and scheming. I needed to know WHO I was marrying. Yes ofcourse I didn’t really “know” my husband in the way I do now, but I knew him a heck of a lot better than my friends who mamish went on 4 dates before getting engaged. None of my friends did bshows as we are not chassidish so I can’t really speak on that. I do however know unfortunately many people under 24 years old who are divorced and only one that I can think of dated over a couple of months. I have found that in the shidduch world people are so worried about their child not finding a shiduch ( understandably) that they hold back what they may not deem important. I know many unfortunately girls who married boys everything was beautiful both sides were ecstatic and it turns out he boy had been to rehab for drug use and relapsed into he first year of marriage. Those of you saying shidduchim don’t properly vet a shiduch or research the way beshows do is false. They/we do. So many calls are made and rabbonim spoken to etc. every situation is different. I just don’t like sitting here reading about people basically saying beshows is the best way and that it makes no difference dating you don’t know them any better. That is just false. I can safely say I was in love with my husband before and on our wedding date. He is my best friend and I wish the same happiness that I have for EVERYONE. Btw I did not just get married so please don’t say it’s newly wedded bliss. It is how I feel an I know he feels the same. B’hatzlacha to everyone looking for their basheret!
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