OK Oomis, heard you, got it.
No mothers.
What do you say when a guys wants to see a photo before he dates?
Looks are subjective. And he wants to see for himself how she looks before they go out. So?
And btw, you’re making me very curious where you live/ what community you’re part of. You mention often how important it is for a girl to be neat & for a guy (found this on another thread) to brush his hair and teeth and shower (!!!!) before he goes out. I never came across a guy (or girl) that needed instruction in basic hygiene before a date. Admittedly some look more pressed and put together than others, but unbrushed teeth (Ewww) ? What gives? “
Golfer – I am opposed to ANYONE, boy or girl stipulating to seeing a pic of the prospective shidduch before they will deem them worthy of meeting them. Pictures lie. And someone’s personality can affect their looks. There are visually stunning people who are so self-absorbed and shallow, that when you get to know them, they are a total turn-off. There are some plainer, but really wonderful people who get to be more attractive as the date wears on, because their sense of humor or personality is so sparkling, that it takes you by surprise.
This inyan about seeing a photo is relatively new. Ten years ago, no one would have had the chutzpah to demand such a thing before arranging a blind date. For the shadchan to MEET the young man or woman prior to making an arrangement – yes. That makes total sense. But for the prospective in-laws or boy and girl?????? For a chevra that is hung up on seeing lack of tznius everywhere, it frankly disturbs me greatly that this ever became a thing to do.
As to my community? I live in a frum, non-Brooklyn neighborhood. I know people whose kids have dated people from an eclectic set of demographics, and yes, there have been times that some dates have been less than well-groomed. As I do not want to ascribe this fault to any one group of guys (or girls, but you see it more with guys), I will refrain from doing so. If any guy reading this is guilty of not taking sufficient pride in his appearance and personal hygiene, then hamayvin yavin.