Oomis, on a personal level, I totally agree with you.
This new phenomenon of attaching photos to resumes is extremely distasteful, to say the least.
And completely weird when you consider the fact that the whole system of shidduchim was instituted to preserve tzniyus during the process of people meeting members of the opposite sex to set up a Jewish home be’Kdusha uve’Tahara.
The first time I opened an email attachment expecting to see a neatly typed resume and saw a photo instead (Yes, I know all you computer savvy people out there- you would’ve known before you opened it)- I jumped! Literally. Was that a hack? Why is there a picture of a pretty girl with long hair and lots of makeup on my computer screen?!?
Of course, while I may emphatically agree with oomis, I am in no position to agree or comment on the quotes from Talmidei Chachamim provided by DY. Except perhaps to say that I do feel a bit validated and thank DY for providing them.
What I was wondering, oomis, was- Why are you fixated on boys’ mothers looking at pictures of prospective candidates? I’ve been puzzled for a while by the vilification and demonization of boys’ mothers. Presumably the guys in question, if they’re out searching for a wife, are adults. They’re actively involved in the pursuit. (I know there are circles where the parents are extremely involved in the process, and the young people only meet briefly, but those are not the circles passing around photos on the internet.) I would prefer to lay the blame directly in their laps.
I’ve tried to redt shidduchim where I’ve been told the young man won’t consider it unless I provide a picture. I’m left with the choice of requesting a picture (which makes me very uncomfortable) and passing it on (makes me even much more uncomfortable), or dropping the shidduch.
Maybe it would be a good idea to have professional shadchanim all agree not to provide pictures. This idea, I think, has the prospects of that famous snowball in a very hot location. Shadchanim are loathe to implement any changes to the “rules” that have been arbitrarily, often foolishly, implemented for dealing with shidduchim. I’m about as far from professional as a shadchan can be, and I don’t see people lining up to take advice from me.
So my question to you was (and remains)-
What do we do with the guys who want to see a picture of a girl?