Interesting question, DY.
Right now the question is hypothetical for me too.
Somehow I’ve never found this as offensive as sending a picture.
The idea of a picture being passed around on the internet to people I don’t know, and the idea that the other party wants to see a two dimensional (possibly photo-shopped, haha!) picture before they see the real live wonderful girl, makes me cringe.
On the other hand the mother (or parents) wanting to actually meet her doesn’t bother me as much. I’ve always felt that in this respect the girls’ parents have a huge advantage. They meet and speak to the guy before he takes their daughter out. If she wants to discuss things with them afterwards they understand her better since they’ve all met him. This sure beats her texting all her friends after the date to get their opinions. (Common practice I’ve heard, but a no-no in my book.) The boy’s parents are in the dark, and if he does have a concern that he wants to hear their opinion about, they can’t be as helpful.
I’d probably ask that the meeting be included somehow in the first date.
But fair’s fair. If I, Mrs Hypothetical Girl’s Mom, get to meet the guy, no reason his mother can’t have a word (or two) with my daughter.