Thank you, oomis, for never failing to respond to a post.
*Most Courteous Poster Award* goes to you, as usual.
(I sincerely hope Miss SUC will forgive me for handing out awards.)”
Golfer, I thank you most sincerely, because I value THAT particular description of me.
To try to answer you more thoroughly, MOST boys do not ask for a picture, in my particular experience (which is not to say it doesn’t happen elsewhere). However, I feel that where this DOES happen, it is because it has in many cases lost the stigma of being a really impolite thing to do. A fine, TOP boy, can and should be attracted to his date/mate (so should everyone). But a fine top boy (and are they not ALL?) should not focus in on the externals before even MEETING the girl. That is simply inconsistent with the hashkafa that I have been led to believe is Ratzon Hashem. If she is a baalas middos, ehrliche frum, and looking to build a bayis ne’eman b’Yisroel, those are qualities that do not tend to fade with time. If she is also pretty in HIS eyes, that’s icing on an already well made cake.
If I were a shadchan, I would want to find common ground between the boys and girls. I would NEVER give a picture of the boy OR girl out, and if someone insisted, I would not make that shidduch. Period. That shows me the person is more interested in dating the picture than the person. The was once a story of a wealthy man who sent a picture of his wallet to a dinner committee that wanted to honor him. He sent along a note basically stating that as it was clear it was his money that they wanted to honor, he would just as soon stay home, and send his wallet in his stead.