I am going to say something very strong against all of those attacking with flatbusher: I don’t care how obvious you think the answer is, you NEVER attack someone for asking a Shailah or trying to learn. That is how one prevents actual learning of Torah. If you have a source, answer simply with a source. If you don’t, then maybe it’s not as cut-and-dried as you think. Everything in life is/can be a Shailah. Some just have obvious answers. So if you think this is an obvious answer, explain why. Attacking someone for asking a question is an anti-Torah attitude. Don’t do it. Ever.
Flatbusher: The simple answer to your basic question (why is there an assumption that men are obsessed with Arayos) is that there is a high enough chance that they are. Yes, not all men are immediately Over Issurim when they see a woman in any state of undress. But a significant enough number are. And keep in mind, “Over Issurim” here doesn’t mean have Bi’os Assuros (the notion that “men can’t control themselves” is a Christian idea that we don’t really believe in); it means Hirhurei Aveirah. And, generally, we don’t trust people to claim that they don’t have Hirhurei Aveirah in a situation that is liable to lead to it. Not because we think someone would be lying about it, but because they are probably lying to themselves about it. Moreover, even if it 100% doesn’t bother you, but it could very easily lead to a situation where someone else has the impression it’s okay. And there is no way to guarantee that every such person who gets that impression won’t be perfect in such a situation.
frumknotyeshivish: Come on. It’s pretty obvious what Darka Achrina is. It means another situation of more or less equal ease.
DY: “can I say no and then violate the entire ???? ?”??”
Is it bad if I think that the Rama says that the answer to this question is yes?