ymbyi, I agree with you on everything aside from this: 2. Do dont lift a finger in the home.
There are men who don’t lift a finger in the home but that has nothing to do with being chareidi. A man who is selfish/abusive is that way because of his attitude, not because of his religious beliefs. I find it very hard to believe that there is a higher percentage of chareidi men who don’t help out in the home than there are non-chareidi men who do so.