WellInformedYid said:
Yarmulka size- I think it says something about ones Yiras Shomayim
I think this is ridiculous. Many people wear the yarmalka they wear just because that is what everyone else does. Same as white shirts, etc. True, there are people who really feel yiras shamayim and wear a large yarmalka because of that but you can’t be sure. Better to look at his davening as you mention later.
The true litmus test for a guys frumkiet in my opinion is as follows:
Find out his shul manners.
If he davens with Kavannah and doesnt talk by davening, in all likelihood the guys is gold. If he respects the shul, his fellow daveners, and takes Davening seriously it means he has Emunah and a deep connection to Hashem. Usually the daveners and those who wont talk by Davening are much frummer and more “REAL” about their Yiddishkiet.
If you can get this info on a guy it will save you hours of senseless shidduch calls.
Im sure most of the guys will agree with me, but again, a lot of “frum” people talk by davening so they wont like what I am saying. However if you are honest you will agree that the Modern Orthodox looking guy without the hat that Davens the long Shemoneh Esrei and listens quietly to krias Hatorah is probably a lot frummer than the Yeshivish looking guy who talks through most of Davening and Krias Hatorah.
Not necessarily. Everyone has their nisyonos. Talking in davening is one of them. I’m sure there are many great guys who happen to talk during davening. There are some people who will daven with lots of kavana (or look like they do), but will talk between aliyos. I would be more concerned about during which part of davening someone is talking. There are certain parts of davening where the Shulchan Aruch says that it is assur to talk. During other parts, it is technically muttar. (Perhaps there should be a thread devoted to this)