Mosherose:
Halacha dictates what fear means. One isnt supposed to be scared that their Totty is going to hurt them if they wear jeans.
WANT TO HEAR A SHOCKER?
Rav Shlomo Volbe Zatzal held that it is asur to hit a child who is older than 3 years old. Yes thats not a typo. Older than 3! He says in our dor where chutzpah is rampant hitting ones child is lifnei iver because the kid will hit you back!
Also due to the lack of personal attention most kids have from their parents, they misinterpret the smack as hatred and abuse.