“Vayavei es ohavav v’es Zeresh ishto.” “Vatomer lo Zeresh ishto v’chol ohavav….” “Vaysapeir Haman l’Zeresh ishto ul’chol ohavav eis kol asher karahu, vayom’ru lo chachamav v’Zeresh ishto….”
Some observations:
1.) The pesukim clearly distinguish between the wicked Haman’s loved ones and his wife.
2.) They also distinguish between his wise advisers and her. Apparently, the cursed Zeresh was neither loved nor wise. Still, she was always there giving her two cents.
3.) The wicked Haman sent for his friends before his wife. That shows who he preferred.
4.) He followed his wife’s advice, and that led to his demise. This is an example of what Rav said (Bava Metzia, 59a): “Kol haholeich ba’atzas ishto (b’milei d’alma), nofeil b’gehinnom.”
5.) For some reason, he consulted his wife first only after her proposal began to backfire.
6.) Though his wife spoke up first when originally telling him what to do, she spoke up last when telling him that he was doomed because of her advice.
7.) He didn’t listen to his wise men until it was too late (and even then he hadn’t asked for their opinion).
8.) Maybe if Haman harasha would have asked the wise men for their opinions in the first place, instead of asking his buddies and his wife, he would have gotten better advice. As the Gemara in Nedarim states (40a): “Rabbi Shimon ben Elazar says: If youths advise you to build, and sages advise you to demolish, listen to the sages and don’t listen to the youths. For the construction of youths is really destructive, and the destruction advised by sages is really constructive.” In the wicked Haman’s case that is exactly what happened – he was destroyed by the gallows that he constructed on the advice of his friends.