“are you, that is, men, not jewish because you don’t take challah, light candles, or keep thm “
Men are required to take challah, light candles, and keep thm. Male bakers take challah all the time.
“we can make kiddush etc if there is no man around”
L’chatchala a woman can make kiddush for her husband on Friday night. In fact, if the husband has davened maariv but the wife does not daven maariv (for example, if she holds by the Mishnah Berurah and davens shacharit and minchah but not maariv), the wife actually has a HIGHER level of obligation to make kiddush than her husband and strictly speaking from a halachic perspective it would be PREFERABLE for her to make kiddush (and not just for her husband but for any guests as well). For other reasons this is not typically done, but my wife often makes kiddush for me at our table on Friday night. (And yes, I clear this entire logic with my Rav.)