That was not what I meant at all oomis, my family was a frum family, but in a Torah true home would a child be mentally and physically abused? would a person born with disabilities be made to feel ashamed and guilty in a Torah true home? in a Torah true home would any parent ever hate their child and relish in making sure that child knew that in their eyes he was worthless? they were frum but they did not live the Torah in my house”
And you are correct – “frum” does not always = good and kind (but then again, I don’t consider abusive people to be frum – just my personal feeling). You had a rough time, and I am so sorry for your tzoros growing up, but that is also the point. Modern Orthodox does not mean that someone does NOT have a Torah home. I would consider my sister and brother in law to be VERY MO, but my brother-in-law is VERY machshiv Torah, gives all his kochos to his Shul and community, has commissioned the writing of Sifrei Torah, and sets a beautiful example for his family.
Until Hurricane Sandy, my sister wasa machnisat orchim bar none. They helped send my kids through Yeshivah, as well as others, when we were going through tough times. Being MO is not a negative. Neither is shukling in Shul and sitting in Beis Medrash all day indicative of a person’s real character. Each person should be judged on his/her own actions.
BTW, apropos of kids getting married and running off to E”Y on their parents’ credit cards – in my opinion, that is not a
Kollel lifestyle. It is a FAKE Kollel lifestyle. Kollel wives need to be prepared to sacrifice for that zechus. If the couple expects their tab to be picked up by their parents, they are just living the same as they did before, only married.