I don’t think SAM2 is looking for a heter, he’s just saying how it works in some communities. No one here disagrees with Rav moshe. I think it’s ideal and that’s why girls and boys should be separated from the start so that you don’t get to the “years of dating situation”. I’m sure FFBBT doesn’t want to still be saying this boy I’m sure she wants to be married to him already- I know this Cuz I was raised in that type of community. I’ve seen this happen to many people and bH they are fine. Those people also probably never heard of Rav Moshe (or at least his psak). It’s simply the community- no one is saying your wrong.
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