” And oomis, kollel is doable without parental support, as long as you have realistic standards. Are you going to say the same about every mono income family? If you say I’m gonna go on vacation to Florida for a week and my seminary teacher said Hashem will provide, then you may have a bit of a problem. “
It is ONLY doable when the girls have a completely realistic idea of what they are in for WITHOUT that parental aupport. Not only are they going to be fulfilling Chava’s requirements, but ODOM’S as well. Until they actually DO that, and in the best case scenario successfully maintain a home, experience a pregnancy, labor, delivery, and take care of a child or children, PLUS work full time to earn the parnassah, they have NO concept of what is in store.
There is a reason Hashem made a division of labor. None of those girls coming out of seminary (typically in E”Y where the standard of living is different), who have been strongly indoctrinated into the privilege of such a lifestyle by their Morahs, mentors, and Rebbetzins, have a clue as to what is in store for them. The rate of divorce among young Yeshivish couples has soared in recent years, often within a year of marriage.
I do not say a girl should not marry a learning boy and have the zechus to support his Torah learning. That’s something very special when it can be done. I AM saying, however, that both eyes should be wide open when she does. It is NOT a romantic fantasy of playing Rochel to someone’s R’ Akiva. Real married life is not easy under most circumstances. It takes hard work and commitment, as does anything worth doing. These issues need to be fully explored and discussed prior to embarking on a Kollel journey, the same as for anyone else who will be in a one-income family.
PS We could never afford to go to Florida, so we didn’t. I survived, B”H.