FFBBT613: Of course I wanted my future son in laws to have college degrees !! But what I wanted and what my girls wanted were two very different things. By the time my girls started dating, they were mature, thoughtful young women, who knew what they wanted in life, and perhaps more importantly, what they needed to live a fulfilling life.
On an intellectual level, they know what they would be giving up – the clothes, the vacations, even the magazines they loved to read, on an emotional level, they were ready to go foreward to attempt their dreams. I had to recognize that they were rational, clear-headed and very, very determined to live a life different from the life they grew up with.
I had nothing to say about the young men they dated – why would I? I would not be marrying them !! I did make some suggestions of what the girls should take notice of (have no idea if they paid attention or not)
I did have, what I considered, important criteria about their families. It was important to me that they be ba’alei chesed/Tzedaka, involved in their communities, with a reputation of being loving FIRM parents. That is the kind of home I wanted my future son in law to come from. There are exceptions, of course, some kids turn out extraordinary despite/because of the homes they grew up in, in any event, I was not confronted with such a scenario.