Nobody, despite your well-intentioned and very chessed-filled words, the bottom line is that men have a chiyuv to daven every day, and women have a chiyuv to raise their children, which is why we are exempt from mitzvos shehaz’man graman. If a woman is nebbich in a sitaution 3-4 months after giving birth or any time during her children’s childhood, lo aleinu, that she is unable or chalilah unwilling to care for her children, then other arrangements need to be made for the care of those kids. It is never an aitzah to bring them to shul before they are old enough to a) control their own behavior and b) not soil diapers. My husband’s need to daven with kavana always trumps her need to get rid of the kids for an hour or two. Most of the time (at least in my shul) the moms are coming to shul with their small children and depositing them inside the main shul with the dads (they somehow manage to discreetly catch their attention, or have a pre-arranged time that the husband knows to come outside and take the children), while they sit outside and shmooze with the other mothers. Call me a cranky old biddy, but I think that is disgraceful. It teaches the kids nothing, and disrupts everyone around that father. Even a quiet kid is distracting, because the babies are so cute to look at that the attention wanders. In my case, I cannot concentrate because I am either already being disturbed by the baby, or just WAITING for him to start being disruptive. Neither alternative is pleasant.
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