Syag lachochma.
Why should their family lose out? I don’t know who you’re talking about but in such a situation, their father is an idiot and they have to live with the shame but why should they also have to live without food?
Op.
The same question goes for someone who smokes. Their kids know that the father would sooner spend money on his cigarettes then buy them bread. If he only has enough money for one, he will buy the cigarettes. How can you refuse this person money knowing that his kids will be the ones suffering bec your idealism of not giving money to someone who smokes?