1. I would speak to your rov immediately. I think that you’re treading a dangerous path that can undermine the stability of a marriage and proper guidance is a must
2. How long are you married? While very wrong, there is a de-emphasis among many segments of bochurim as to the importance of teffila b’tzibur. Certainly many bochurim are not like that, but there are many that are. Sometimes it may not even be a gauge as to his yiras shomayim, rather just a cultural shortcoming. Of those, most will move past it as the years go on, but a young married wife can be horrified. Hashkofically she is right, but being that she is culturally not in tuned with the mindset of a bochur she would be misjudging him. The most critical thing though is to have proper hadrocho. Without it a marriage can really suffer.