I’d like to address your question, “Why am I upset?”
The reason you are upset is likely because you have an idealistic (and correct – but that’s irrelevant at this point) picture of how you’d like your household to look.
The same picture applies when a husband comes home and finds the house a mess with his wife stressed (it happens – shockingly!) “instead of” everything being organized with his wife sitting on a chair and saying Tehillim aloud.
You shouldn’t be looking to prove yourself wrong, but you should be able to be sovel your own expectations in face of helping a relationship grow.
As far as helping your husband do what he likely feels is important as well, that’s a different issue but you probably shouldn’t actively address it at this point (at least as long as you’re upset) – as it’s unlikely to go anywhere positive.
On a more personally pro-active level, if you’re also going to sleep at a later hour, it doesn’t make sleeping early for your husband any easier. Maybe try going to sleep earlier youself and see it helps him. But again, that shouldn’t be with an expectation that it will have an impact – just a desire to help.
Hatzlocho!