notasheep: The question is, what is femininity?
I personally don’t agree with the popular notion of feminism, which in and of itself undermines itself, as it’s implying that men are better than women and we need to try to reach their madreigah. (Because you’re NOT better than us, guys. Live with it.)
The difference is, is femininity simply expressing the differences between men and women or is it wearing fluffy pink dresses and makeup all day and waiting on top of a tower? I think that women have their own kochos, but I think that Jewish people are actually buying a little into the whole fairy-tale aspect of how delicate and vulnerable and etc. women are. According to the inyan that eishes chayil is meant to be taken literally (expressed by R’ Chaim Volozhiner, among others), an eishes chayil has a lot more capability and strength than just making herself look pretty for her husband and cleaning the floors. (Yes, I know that to an extent that’s there, but also along with haysa ka’aniyos socher.)
And if you want to have women be these delicate creatures who can’t do anything outside of the home, then let it be both ways, please. It’s like the joke: after the eitz hada’as incident, women were cursed with pain in childbirth. After epidurals were invented, they also received the curse of going to work. (My mom and aunt found this one hysterical, for some reason…)