I sometimes wonder if we have forgotten to focus on a person’s positive points. Everybody has times when either their low mood or frustrating day or helpless situations seem to invite challenge in a relationship – the spouse senses a disconnect and in their misunderstanding the disconnect and taking it personally they in turn become frustrated. It is so critical not to let this track take over, with private little ‘if he/she would care about me they would understand….’, etc, and realize that these are normal glitches in any relationship, and warm, smiling feelings and words heal them. I don’t mean to simplify things, but everybody is going to have something that bothers the spouse- we all need a healthy dose of tolerance, blind eye, humor, and mainly a desire to create a bayis ne’eman b’yisroel. When you are on a critical mission you don’t sweat the small stuff as much. Good Luck to all – it is very sad to see so many divorces.
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