“I haven’t reported my missing credit card to the police
because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife.”
– Ilie Nastase
“Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?”
– Will Rogers
“The problem with the designated driver program, it’s not a desirable job,
but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it.
At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.”
– Jeff Foxworthy
“Borrow money from a pessimist – they don’t expect it back.”
“A person who knows how to laugh at himself will never ceased to be amused.”
– Shirley Maclaine