There is hospice and then there is hospice. It is difficult to know the difference, and one must have a Rav who is qualified in this area to help support a family through a family member’s final illness. The concept of hospice or palliative care is a good one in theory, keeping the patient comfortable. In practice, however, it often means withholding food/water/medication and/or blood products (as well as giving too much pain medication which may lessen the breathing). And this can be problematic al pi halacha. We also went through this and had a great Rav, as well as a doctor who is a Yorei Shomayim, supporting us. Still, it was exceedingly difficult and we had to advocate ferociously for an IV, once our family member lost the ability to swallow and could no longer keep themselves hydrated. It is a balancing act which must be done sensitively and delicately.
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