Reply To: Chareidi Engagement?

I have a bit more info… forgive me, it’s late at night here in Ir HaKodesh.

The parents have met and the boy’s parents are very fond of the girl’s parents. The boy expressed his reservations to his parents, and his parents are naturally concerned. But based on the girl’s family and having spoken to the girl over the phone, they think everything will be OK.

This is not to say that the parents had input BEFORE the shidduch, which is a big concern.

Someone above mentioned the politics of it all. And this is something I warned the boy about before he went to Israel. I’d been down a similar road as a chozer b’teshuvah trying to get into the yeshivish world. They may invite me for a Shabbos meal or say how impressive my scholarship is, but when it came time to marry, all the doors slammed closed (and boy do I have a bad story to tell). This boy comes from an orthodox family who were BT when he was very young. But they were not born into the Chareidi tzibur. Also, he’s Sephardi and wanted to marry and Ashkenazi girl. He thinks he converted. So he’s been told that he has “strikes” against him, as great of a young man as he is.

We learned what the girl’s “strike” is… one of her brothers is off the derech. Not, G-d forbid, a bad person, just no longer observant. SHe’s the first of their daughters to get married, and it sounds like they had a hard time.

I’m going to see the boy at his yeshiva on Motzei Shabbos (what liquor should I bring?!). I want to hear it straight from the horse’s mouth.

They should have all the bracha and simcha HKBH can bestow on a young couple.