I am in a situation where the other side wants an elaborate Bucharian wedding but will contribute nothing, not to the wedding or to the photographer or music. He is a Bal Teshuvah, the rest of the family have almost no sheichos to yiddishkeit. The chosson claims that his guests are generous and the money will be used to help pay for the wedding, problem is that he will be bringing in 50 guests and we have 200. So instead of having a wedding where both sides pay 50/50 or where I pay for a modest wedding and they pay for FLOP I am now expected to basically foot most of the bill for what could only be described as a party for the rich. They even suggested that the young couple take out a loan for the wedding!!! My daughter does not go for this, she says that she would like to walk away from the wedding with some money for them to begin their lives. He has a $70k student loan to pay off and my daughter has a $170k loan to deal with. For the few hours of “partying” it is simply not worth it! We have a case of the tail wagging the dog.
My take will be simply to make (research) all the arrangements myself, present my finding to them (the chosson) with the take it or leave it attitude and hope the two kids see it my way and that they weather the storm. He has a mother and a divorced sister with child and a father who has nothing to do with him. I am retired living in Florida on a fixed income with one more daughter to marry off so I really don’t have much options.