Joseph: This will be my last post, bringing our conversation to an end. Let me just say that you have convinced me that the issue of women’s tznius is a deep concern of yours, as it should be every Jew’s.
I can hear that people like you may feel helpless in this regard, especially since many other men are not taking care of their own bnei bayis, and all men (and all women as well) are the unwitting victims. I continue to maintain that the “fight” must be fought with wisdom and gentle words, with an eye towards effectiveness, and not through insensitivity and the like.
I remember reading a letter to the editor in a women’s magazine (Binah) last year. (I don’t remember evreything exactly, but this is the gist of it.) It was written by a yungerman from Lakewood, I think. He began the letter, “Dear bnos chashuvos,holy daughters and woman of our community…” or something thereof, displaying tremendous respect and admiration to those he was adressing. He started off by expressing his appreciation for all women stand for etc., He then went on to recount a personal story where he went to the store and a woman reached to get something and inadvertantly exposed what should have been covered…” To make a long story short, his letter was so sincere, so heartfelt and most importantly, so bachovadik…He begged and pleaded with the women to realize what they were doing, how they were inadvertantly but surely causing men to be nichashal, against their will…etc. He ended with brochos to them, and again pleading for them to take it to heart.
Personally, I thought the writer was overdoing it. Why was it so necessary to take such pains to write like that, just tell it like it is! But I can tell you, Joseph, that the response to that letter were overwhelming. Women wrote that they had never realized what they were doing and how they resolved to be more careful in the future…That is the approach that works (imho!) and perhaps it is something like that that you and others like you can do.
Once again, it was a pleasure. Keep up your conviction and integrity in this confusing world we share. And may we all be zoche to restore hashem’s shechina in our midst.
To all of you out there, its been nice meeting you and sharing ideas. Hatzacha to all, and my opologese if I have offended anyone.