Newbee, it’s not really up to us to decide that a wedding’s arrangements are disgusting. What is it they say? – “Al ta’am v’reiach…”, or if you prefer, “different strokes…”
Personally I dislike cigars intensely and I would have no idea what to do with a personal cigar roller, unless he also does dishes or windows.
But what can I say?
I happen to know for a fact that some people enjoy cigars.
And some others do not at all enjoy their “extended family members”…
As for wedding Takanos, we’ve all been there, done that, read about it, heard about it. The system does work beautifully in some Chassidish communities where there is unwavering loyalty to the Rebbe, and his wishes trump societal pressure and personal desires. Other groups, other places, there’s a whole long list of reasons why the takanos idea just never took hold.
If you want to help marry off a Chassan & Kallah, by all means.
And if you’re happier spending your Tzedaka funds on other important causes, likewise.
And if you need to learn more about how exactly to allocate your ma’aser money- well, you already know what I”ll suggest- speak to your Rav.