gavra_at_work,
but you should recognize that any of your points will not make a dent into the problem.
I disagree. As long as the weddings are viewed positively by chosson and kalla and their families, and guests are given the impression that the intimacy and modesty were by design and valued, not forced by budget constraints, all it would take would be a handful of such weddings to begin changing the culture. Attendees would leave with an enhanced sense of what community weddings are like. Future families will then see it as a viable option, not a “nebach” one.