But if there is genuinely no question of them repeating the abuse, and this is possible (If they are now severely disabled, for example), then is it our duty to ensure they are punished?”
How about our duty to show the one who was abused that we care about what he went through? To show other abusers that we care about what they do?
The abuser deserves no sympathy for what he did. He should be reported to the real authorities. No more covering this up.
Covering up shows other abusers that if the circumstances are right, they can get away with a grievous action.
Covering up shows the victim that we are disregarding what they went through and protecting their abuser.
Covering up is absolutely disgusting.
— Whats_in_a_name
Anyone that witnessed the agony that victims of abuse go through for the rest of their lives would not even dream of letting the abuser go free.
True, Hashem will most definitely punish the abuser- He’s even begun already, it seems, in this case.
That doesn’t take away from the fact that the victim would gain immeasurable relief, knowing that the abuser is experiencing the consequences that they so deserve, having destroyed the victim’s life.
Please dont have rachmanus on the abuser…. Hashem yerachem, please don’t make that sick mistake.
— Letakein Girl
LG – This post is very unlike you. Your normally advocating to give people chances, not to jump to criticize, to be nice to everyone. This is a pretty harsh judgment!
Before we start from a halachic standpoint, lets talk about it morally. You are destroying a family – Sholom Bayis, Shidduchim, Parnassah, Peace of Mind, Happiness. You are destroying a man [albeit a disgusting man, although that too needs discussion]. You are starting another scandal that will rip the Jewish Communities to shreds as various Rabbanim take sides and the Kehillas fight. You are creating International Chillul Hashem.
What is the purpose of this? You mentioned two reasons: (a) To show the victim that you care. (b) As a deterrent for other abusers. The first reason is definitely foolish. You cannot destroy a family just in order to give ‘closure’ to a victim. There are other ways to show you care; provide therapy, warmth, support. The second reason is a more difficult aspect – the ends justifying the means. Also something to be discussed separately. You are saying that although he doesn’t warrant being locked up, if we don’t lock him up then we will cause others to follow. Is that a reason to punish him?
Then there is Halacha: Involved in reporting to Goyishe courts are numerous potential problems (tbd): (i) Mesirah (ii) Loshon Hara (iii) Lifnihem vlo lifnei aku”m. Plus the ??? ??? ????? problems of destroying a family. Halacha cannot be pusehd away simply because you want to ‘give closure’.
Another point – PBA rightly pointed out (although this point must be handled carefully) on a different thread a couple of years ago that the attitude of disgust towards abusers is not always correct. Often (obviously not always, but more often than you would think), the abuser is himself a victim of abuse. This does not justify anything, but perhaps the abuser needs pity, not hatred.