I don’t have the question, and it is a weird one to my ears.
The “avoda” of Tisha b’Av is to be Mis’abel on Yerushalayim and the Beis Hamikdash, and depending on who you are, the Shechina. Is that so terrible?
Now, being nice to people doesn’t have a date. That is supposed to be ask the time. In fact, real Ahavas Chinam would be Davka not to attach it to a certain date. It means without trying to gain off it.
Just a note, although we obviously must learn the lesson of the Churban and avoid Sinas Chinam, that is not the pillar on which the third Bayis is built. Just like the second Bayis wasn’t based on Shalosh Chamuros, although they obviously had to do Teshuva on them.
Angie, there is a time for everything. Is it really that bad that we have one day a year to internalize and focus on the loss and to set our goals to what we are yearning?
While it might be a very nice thing to setup safety standards after an accident ?”?, is that meant to replace Shiva?