Maaseh that happened to me one week ago.
I’m not proving anything just a maaseh that’s related to the discussion.
My sister in law called me sobbing. My brothers heart stopped and they were doing CPR, defibrillating etc. she asked me to come over. I called a Rov I know. He isn’t a Posek but he’s the Rov of a Shul and a Rebbe in a famous Yeshiva.
I asked him if my brother became niftar and his (not frum) wife came to hug me could I hug her. This Rov who tends to be makel, did hesitate for a few moments, then said “no” in a forceful tone.
Baruch Hashem my brother made it and is recovering b ezras Hashem.