The vast majority of those who have died in the Arab-Israeli conflict died decades ago.
And this numbers is very small compared to the hundreds of thousands, probably millions, of Jews and their descendents lost to assimilation in North America. 90% or more or Jews in Israel marry other Jews and have Jewish children.
By contrast, in North America, the vast majority of Jews for the last two or three generations have married non-Jews. If they had all moved to Israel, a tiny percentage would have died in war or through terrorism, but at least their families would not have been lost to the Jewish people.
Also keep in mind that the traffic fatality rate is much higher in the US than in Israel. Life expectancy is higher in Israel, and the murder and suicide rates are lower. So while Israelis may be of greater risk of death from terror they are safer from other threats.
Overall, due to the dramatically decreased threat from assimilation, the fulfillment of the mitzvah of the settling of the land, and the greater observance level of even many secular Israelis (most chilonim fast on Yom Kippur, for example), Israel has been a great benefit to the Jewish people.
The status quo is not ideal, but the world’s preferred alternative (a two-state solution) would be worse, and the time is not right yet for a one-state solution. So we have to wait it out until a time for a proper solution comes. Puerto Ricans and Indians on reservations were under US control for decades before they had citizenship, and they still have no real voting rights in the congress or presidential elections.
Israel is a strong and successful country, with a great economy, a resilient, well-educated and increasingly religious population, and a bright future. The world’s lack of understanding of its predicament, and their irrational hatred, can’t change that. With Hashem’s help Israel is doing well. As Dovid HaMelech expressed so many times in Tehillim, everything may seem chaotic, with haters surrounding him, but he trusts in Hashem and He saves him.