if the jewelry was given “in contemplation of marriage” (this is a real legal concept), then the girl must return all of it to you, under NY state law and many other states. You were entirely within your rights to threaten legal action had she refused to give it back to you. that is also dina d’malchusa, which we generally follow when it comes to choshen mishpat. if you yourself feel guilty about how you acted, then by all means apologize and return the stuff, but don’t feel like you have to.
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