rashi in shabbos says that when the gemoroh says ma dsane loch lechaveroch lo savid means veohavto lreiacho komoicho, [what you dont like for yourself dont do to your friend]
the ramban in chumash and the maharsho in the gemoro say that if one loves some one else as themselves they wouldn’t be complied to keep the law of chayecho kodmin so the ramban says it means as “raf” said
as far as gender there is a chiyuv to every one every gender no difference at all we are all yidden, addarabe the chiyuv of one to love his spouse is based according to most shitois on this chiyuv with additions drabbonon