Ashreinu, its the stigma in the word “frum” not in being more stringent in your practice of halacha. I grew up in a paradox – modern orthodox home and yeshivish elementary school. They made “frum” seem like it was 100% about what people see (and whats not nice we dont show). They focused so much on what you were wearing (I was scolded for wearing ankle bracelets) and how you looked on the outside, rather than what your observance was.
I like the term “observant.” To me, it connotes someone who is keeping halacha and striving for a closer connection to Hashem. The most observant people I know come from a spectrum of backgrounds (MO, yeshivish, chassidish) and they are all steadfast in conforming to halacha and growing. They believe in what they are doing and dont do things just because “it looks right.”
We cannot judge who is a better person – it depends on who you are comparing yourself to. If you judge me against Moshe Rabbeinu, I fail miserably. If you judge me against a murderer, I pass with flying colors. My mother always told me that the more Jews thrive, the more they turn against each other.
Good luck in your journey to become closer to Hashem. May you be live a life fulfilled with Torah and mitzvos!