Ah, welcome to parenting 101. (or 1.0, as they call it in the digital age).
Knowing when to hold ’em and when to fold ’em is what makes us grey and wrinkled. Its a constant judgement call, one which I / Mrs make every day. Most times, its a no brainer; sometimes we stay up at night, wondering if we made the right call.
Things like kashrus yes/no would not be up for debate. But if one of the rank-and-file decided that white shirts 24/7 is too much to handle, yes, that I’d compromise on (and in fact, I did compromise on a similar area).