WolfishMusings,
there are far too many people who depend too much on me (although whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing, I suppose, is debatable)
It’s a good thing. And it goes much deeper than dependence.
Granted, I can be self-critical (perhaps to the extreme), and even further granted that I don’t particularly like myself very much,
Self criticism can be healthy and helpful, just like a baseball coach’s criticisms can help his players improve their game. Don’t let it lead to self-loathing, however. The very fact that you consider the merits of your actions at all demonstrates that you have character and sensitivity. If nothing else, trust your wife’s judgement: she picked well.
but I said I would limit my self-deprecatory comments on this site and, I believe, I’ve adhered to that.
Most of the self deprecating comments I have seen you make here come in response to the extremist blanket statements or judgements of others – not seemingly from an internal dislike for your behavior. On the contrary, you usually seemed to be comfortable with your behaviors and decisions. That’s why I have previously assumed that you were using the self deprecation as a rhetorical device to attack such blanket, extreme statements.
A simplistic example:
ExtremoBob: Pirkei Avos says al tarbe sicha im haisha, therefore anyone who says “good morning” to a woman is going to that hot place!
WolfishMusings: Well, I’d better stock up on sunscreen and fans, because I said good morning to my wife this morning, and I plan to do so tomorrow!
If, however, you are indeed internalizing some of the crazy statements that unthinking people make, please note that what you are doing is not self-criticism. Where would we be had Moshe Rabbeinu internalized the insult hurled at him by a Jew that he was at fault for worsening the Jews’ lot after speaking to Paroh?