I am SO sorry for your loss. HaMakom Yenacheim eschem b’soch sh’ar aveilei Tzion v’Yerushalayim. I know that can be expressed during the whole aveilus. The highest kovod you can show your mom O”H is in your commitment to saying Kaddish. Have you spoken to the shul rov or gabboim about your issue?
Only simcha and nachas in the coming year.