First off, I think you should really talk to girls who are in those seminaries now! other people just hear rumors and often false impressions. You realy dont know unless you’ve been there.
THat said, I’ll mention that I’ve visited these seminaries and have friends in both BJJ and Bnos Sara but Im not actually in either of them. My impression has been that Bnos Sara is alot warmer than BJJ, but its still very acedemic. Both are very good seminaries and are similr in many ways. Its proably best not to decide on one until you have been accepted.
Also, just curiousity, but where’s your daughter in all this? Does she really want the same things as you?