As far as the old lady, I am convinced she is a horrible bully.
I’m actually not convinced of anything, because we only hear one side of the story in these cases. But given the story as presented, yes, she sounds like a horrible bully, and yes, one should have the fortitude to stand up to that, but if it were my wife and daughter, (or me in an equivalent situation,) I would hope for the sake of middos and chinuch we would give in, despite not being intimidated.
Thanks for your response.