golfer, that was a typo. It should have said “younger girls” and not “single girls”
DY:
I don’t know why you think boys care less about unimportant criteria for a shidduch than do parents.
I speak from experience. Many shiduchim have been turned down by parents wanting things that didn’t make a difference to their children. Everyone–parents and children alike–will have their “thing” or “things” they’re makpid on, some of which are understandable, some of which aren’t. The result of parents dictating their children’s shiduchim is more of both types.
I think in the litvish yeshiva system, the natural age at which boys are ready to get married is about 22-23, and girls 19-20, and this is the cause of the gap. It has little or nothing to do with parental involvement.
First of all, I disagree with that assumption that the “natural age at which they’re ready to get married…” I don’t know if you meant it like that or if you merely meant that “the age at which they typically start dating.” If you meant the former, please tell me which psychological test you used to determine their readiness, whom you tested, and how you arrived at your results.
Second of all, age fastidiousness and fastidiousness about other nonsensical things is what makes the age gap be a problem, and that was
brought about through parents.
Joseph, I once asked a chassidish acquaintance of mine if it’s true that they don’t have any shiduch crisis, and he replied, “we don’t have a problem with the age; we have our own problems, though.” He didn’t elaborate. So that fits in with what I claim that were the age gap to be closed, there would still be problems. I also don’t know how much you can prove from chassidim as it is; the whole nature of a husband/wife relationship is different than ours, which is why we have our system and they theirs, in the first place. The fact that parental intervention doesn’t cause them problems wouldn’t necessarily prove anything about us.
hiram, I haven’t conducted a study on the matter, but from my own experience and from what others tell me, a boy’s options are a lot more than a girl’s, and often a girl is stuck without any shiduchim coming their way.