“What I cannot do is save any money.”
1)sit down today with your spouse ASAP & “make a budget” (if that includes clothing only for 1 yom tov a year versus 3 then start doing that) start to write down your expenses on a computer & write both your paycheck also & see what the balance is at the end of the month.
2)Start to live more with “What you need not what you want”
(from what you wrote above, can you honestly say that everything you buy are NEEDS & NOT EXTRA FANTASIES?)
3)put all your credit & debit cards in your wallet behind other cards (like library or insurance cards etc…) so you wont pull it out like its nothing every time you see it. When a person pays his bills in cash it has a value & the person can feel it versus a credit card. (although you do get the bill at the end)
4)Go to your bank & tell them to transfer automatically a certain amount of money each month from your check to your savings account. (some people do $100 others more/less) you will see it start adding up
may Hashem be with you & give you Hatzlacha