*****D’Var Torah – Parshas Tazria/Metzora****
lieyloi neshmas my Great Grandfather R’ Yitzchak Meir ben R’ Menacham Mendel, on his yartzeit today!
The Torah prohibits the speaking of Lashon Hara. When we denigrate others, we not only cause them harm and loss, but we create a negative environment that affects the listener and even the speaker of the lashon hara. Attitudes affect and infect others, both consciously and subconsciously, as the following true story illustrates:
A man and his elderly father once fell into a dispute. They were very poor and lived in a shack with no heating. They only had one coat and the father felt that he should get to wear it since he was a frail old man, stuck all day in a house with no heat. The son felt that he should get the coat since he had to work outdoors to support the family. His father who was being supported by him was at least indoors out of the wind.
They couldn’t settle their dispute so they went to the Rabbi to seek his decision. Each one told the Rabbi, his side of the story. The Rabbi asked them to each return in two days and he would render his decision.
On the way home, the son started thinking to himself, “What am I doing? What sort of ‘Honor thy Father’ is this? How can I deny my own father this coat? He is sick and frail. I am healthy. If I get cold I can light a fire at the work site. He should get the coat.”
At the same time, the father started thinking to himself, “What am I doing? My son is working hard to support me? How can I let him do this and deny him the coat? If I get cold I can put on a sweater or a blanket or drink a glass of hot tea. He should get the coat.”
Each man now refused to wear the coat and insisted that the other wear one it. Neither could convince the other so they went back to the Rabbi to ask him to rule on their new dispute. The Rabbi thought for a moment and said, “I have a spare coat. Why don’t I lend it to you and then you each can have a coat.” Now everyone could be happy.
The son then asked the Rabbi, “I do not mean to be disrespectful; rather, I am burning with curiosity. If you are going to offer your coat, why did you not offer it the first time we came here?”
The Rabbi replied, “The first time you came, you each said ‘I must have the coat’ so without thinking, it made me feel ‘I must have my coat.’ The second time you came, you each said, ‘I don’t need the coat, I want the other one to have the coat,’ so I felt ‘I don’t need the coat, I want the other one to have the coat.’ (Heard from Rabbi Paysach Krohn)