********** Dvar Torah for Wednesday, Parshas Korach **********
“And Moshe sent to call Dasan and Aviram the sons of Aliav, and they said, we will not go up.” (Bamidbar 16:12)
Rashi cites the Talmud that from here we see the principle that one should not keep up a quarrel. Moshe took the initiative to go after them to make peace.
Rabbi Yitzchok of Vorki commented: The Sages said there is no chazakah in a quarrel. A chazakah means that since a situation is a certain way we assume that it was that way before and will remain that way. But if you try to make peace when there is a quarrel, never say that since you have already tried and have not been successful it will be impossible for you to make peace. Even if you have not been successful in the past, there is always the possibility that you will be able to make peace now.
Even if someone seems very obstinate and many people have tried to reason with him and have failed, it is always possible that a new approach or a new strategy might work to bring about peace.There is no guarantee that any two people will be able to be the best of friends, but at least from a distance people should be on peaceful terms with each other. Disputes and feuds are so destructive that it is always worthwhile to keep doing all you can to make peace.
One very important principle for bringing about peace is a willingness to apologize to someone. There are some people who refuse to apologize to others even if they are clearly wrong. They are very stubborn about the matter and this keeps quarrels going for much longer than necessary. Other people are willing to say they are sorry when they realize they have made a mistake. But they still refuse to apologize if they feel that they are right and the other person is wrong. This, too, can needlessly prolong disputes. A person who sincerely loves and seeks peace will be willing to appologize to someone who feels hurt even if he thinks that he really did not do anything wrong. While this should not be done in situations when someone will take advantage of you, in most instances you lose absolutely nothing and gain much in terns of harmony and peaceful relationships by saying, “I am sorry.”
-Growth Through Torah, R’ Zelig Pliskin