imamom: what I meant by a sakana is if they were to give you a number without being 100% sure it was his- the way you put it now makes it sound more like a disclaimer, which even in this case I don’t think is right- if you have even the slightest safek, retest. The point of Dor Yeshorim is comparison of genetic markers in the two specific people potentially having children together. If they have genetic markers that give them a chance of having children with a disease, they are meant to be dissuaded. While you’re probably right that your son did receive the correct number, if for whatever reason he did not and you received a lovely shidduch for him with a girl who has a recessive gene that is only a problem if your son has the same recessive gene, if Dor Yeshorim gave you the wrong number, the number of a boy or girl who does not have the recessive gene, then if your son does have the gene without you or Dor Yeshorim knowing, you’re up the creek without a paddle. It’s always kedai to know exactly why you’re doing things, and Dor Yeshorim’s attitude about this is kind of disheartening. The fact is that the sakana is really the reason why you should do it in the first place- if you’re not worried about the possibility of FD or Tay Sachs then just save yourself the money. If they ADMIT that there may be even the slightest chance of a mixup, then what’s the point of the whole thing?
Hence my (seeming?) overreaction. While it probably is nothing, the whole lackadaisical attitude really gets me nervous.
I’m not thrilled about this de facto monopoly in which I can’t even get myself tested, apparently. You’re entirely at the mercy of their system. I personally don’t care about the stigma of having a recessive Tay Sachs gene (if I have one, wouldn’t know)- the point is that it’s recessive and doesn’t mean anything unless the guy also has it. So what’s the stigma? We all have recessive genes for things that will never matter in a million years, and there’s no stigma in that. We all have genes for things that we don’t even know are controlled by genes.
For a gene that is dominant and possibly even affecting the person him/herself, I can understand- I know someone who’s going through that nisayon now, but she needs to be even MORE careful about telling people because for her it’s a real thing that will actually affect her kids. For a recessive gene that will only MAYBE affect your children under certain circumstances, I really don’t understand all the hush-hush.
If there was a way to opt out of Dor Yeshorim specifically without causing a sakana, I would, but I guess I’m stuck in the monopoly.
PBA: I lost my passport so I don’t think that would help me…