I think people are understanding the situation backwards. If I understand correctly, CTLAWYER wants to have a small Chuppah and small seudah in CT, followed by a large seudah in NY. There will therefore be many people who are invited only for the large seudah but not the Chuppah.
I think you should invite everyone to everything, but somehow (in a nice way) make it clear to them that they have the option of only coming for the large seudah. That way they will understand that you don’t expect them to make the drive, but also they won’t be insulted that they weren’t invited.